24 Hour King of Jonesy.

Spam

2006-01-07T00:36:00.000+08:00

This is one of the best spam emails I've got in a while.

Private Enterprises "UFIS" is looking to hire a part-time(full-time) employee to fill the position of financial operations manager (600-5000 AUD per week).

About Us:
UFIS (Ukrainian Folk Instruments Sales), was founded in March 1990 and headquartered in Tokmak, is a production company that produces exclusive hand made folk Ukrainian music instruments made of wood, such as Sopilka, Bandura, Trembita etc.
Our company has a great experience in making instruments with gold strings and or inlaid with diamonds and rubies.

The Large Penis Support Group

2005-12-13T12:11:00.000+08:00

http://lpsg.org/

They should have called it the Hung Like A Moose Club.

Biatch Off

2005-12-03T00:38:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if I'm entirely over blogging or not - I seem to be in the mood for it only once a fortnight or so. It's been three weeks since I finished exams, yet I can't quite get it into my head that I'm not a student anymore (the fact that I still work at uni 2 or 3 days a week doesn't help on that point). Maybe if I'm not working full-time by the end of summer I'll just hang around in the tav like I SHOULD have done all this year. Stupid thesis. That scenario is looking a mite unlikely, since I've had quite poistive feedback from my latest job interview. It seems quite an interesting job, working for a large IT/Business consulting group doing admin/managerial work at a client's office 2 days a week, and development work at the group's head office on the other 3 days a week. There are other candidates in the mix though, so I'm not counting my chickens just yet.

On to far more important matters: it's summer, and that means the beach-off is on again! For the uninitiated, the beach-off involves swimming at the beach every day. Once you miss a day, you're out. There's already been two shock withdrawals: Beth (who lasted 120 days last time) and Dave (who lasted 44 days) have decided not to compete this year. A less shocking withdrawal was Richard's: his flight to Phuket was delayed, meaning he missed out on swimming on Thursday (Richard, you should've started the pub off if you couldn't get to a beach). Jamin has already declared he's going to quit on Day 6 or so, given that he lives quite a way from the beach and doesn't have a car. So the remaining contestants (that I'm aware of) are:

Myself

Jack

Nick

Luke

Jamin

MyBen

Prepare to be crushed.

...And now I've run out of beer. Damn.

Listening to: Wicked Beat Sound System - I Want To

Steven Seagal - Songs from the Crystal Cave

2005-11-24T18:29:00.000+08:00

Holy crap, how did I miss this: Steven Seagal has his own cd. (Link) Now I like his movies, but a cd? I don't think so, Raul.

Fingerbang

2005-11-13T23:52:00.000+08:00

I just saw the movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It's written and directed by the guy who wrote all of the Lethal Weapon movies, but isn't like your standard Hollywood action movie. It actually reminded me of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (but much funnier). It's excellent, go see it.

(I just came home to find that my family has drunk all my beer. I would never do something like that. Bastards.)

Listening to: Babybird - The F Word

Outraged

2005-11-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

The West Australian has continued it's staggering poor form by removing one of its best remaining segments. That's right, Zits (the comic strip) is no longer a part of their comics page. In fact, the page has been cut down to just four strips, two of which (Ginger Meggs and Beyond the Black Stump) aren't funny. (And they also cut the Wizard of Id. Bastards.)

Not only that, but they've been replaced by Kakoru (or something like that) which looks to be a very poor man's Sudoku.

I'm fucking outraged.

(And maybe I do take the comics page a bit seriously, but it's the only part of the West Australian that I liked).

<edit> My family are cancelling their subscription to the paper because of this latest decision by the West.
</edit>

I hate Man U slightly less today

2005-11-07T11:12:00.000+08:00

Prepare for the biggest second-half-of-the-season fadeout ever. Chelski shall be crushed by the mighty Gooners, oh yes.

Listening to: Kaiser Chiefs - Every Day I Love You Less and Less

Psychoanalysis in thirty seconds or your money back

2005-11-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

I love pointless internet surveys. Thanks to Al for putting me onto this one.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.2
Mind:	5.4
Body:	6.7
Spirit:	5
Friends/Family:	4.7
Love:	0
Finance:	4.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Listening to: A.C. Newman - Most of us Prizefighters

A nugget of gold from the Arse

2005-11-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

I should also mention the following quote from Arsene Wenger about Jose Mourinho: "I just think that when you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent."

Cop that, Chelski.

Love Ponting

2005-11-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

I've just had a job interview at a place that doesn't normally hire graduates, but reckon they've found a niche for me. I generally smashed the interview's pie, so with any luck should find out if I've got a job or not by Wednesday week (the HR managers are all going overseas next week, hence the delay (I actually don't like the word 'hence' very much)).

On another note, Dave failed miserably in his bid to make a more glorious return than Con's to Thursday night soccer by only scoring one goal compared to Con's two!

Listening to: Bloc Party - Banquet

This one time at band camp

2005-10-25T16:56:00.000+08:00

There's a new American Pie movie that's been released - I was initially hopeful, but it really isn't that good. It's about Stifler's little brother, and seems to be going straight to DVD. I think the only original cast members to remain are the Sherminator and Jim's dad.

edit OK, the one thing going for it is that it does have something extra at the end of the credits. /edit

Listening to: Stevie Wonder - Superstition

fasterfox

2005-10-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

This is quite a nifty little (official Mozilla) extension for firefox.

Musical Boobs

2005-10-22T21:22:00.000+08:00

According to this article, there are plans to make breast implants with built-in mp3 players. Holy crap Batman!

"God alone knows how you select tracks, but breasts do come equipped with a pleasing alternative to the iPod's selector wheel. We can imagine the scenario: Girlfriend: Oi, what the bloody hell are you doing? Boyfriend: Hold on, I'm just scrolling down to Stairway to Heaven."

Listening to: Mylo vs Miami Sound Machine - Doctor Pressure

The nightmare is over

2005-10-19T17:41:00.000+08:00

I have submitted my thesis. This week has felt like I've come out of the mists of purgatory back into the real world. The weather is nice again, I've been spending more time outside than I have since last summer and I've actually had some free time (well OK, I slacked off quite a bit during the year, but now I can do it without feeling guilty).

On top of that, today I submitted my last assignment EVER, on Friday I have my last test EVER, and next Wednesday I have my last class EVER. After two exams (niether of which will be especially difficult) next month, I'll be a free man. Then I'll be able to spend all my evenings drinking and watching cartoons instead of studying... wait, I already do that.

Listening to: David Gray - Please Forgive Me

Welcome to unproductivity. Population: you.

2005-10-17T11:31:00.000+08:00

Thanks to software emulators, I have rediscovered SNES games. Ahh, good times.

Still waiting for pirate disco to become popular

2005-10-12T20:40:00.000+08:00

One of my lecturers is taking us to the pub after our final class of the unit and is putting $200 on the bar for us. Sure there's 25 of us and we'll motor through a $200 tab in about 2 minutes, but I thought it was an awfully decent gesture.

One of the joys of putting your media player on shuffle is that occasionally you unearth great songs you haven't listened to for ages. Not only have I just listened to Dr. Alban - Sing Hallelujah which I hadn't heard for a while, but I noticed the next song in the list is Dreadzone - Captain Dread. It's delightfully piratey.

Listening to: Dreadzone - Captain Dread

The aye's have it

2005-10-12T20:11:00.000+08:00

UWA uses a program called iLectures (the 'i' in front of Apple products doesn't stand for anything, so why is it there? (It'd be much better if it was spelled "ayeLectures", "ayeMac" and "ayePod". That's much more piratey.) As least the 'e' in terms like 'eCommerce' actually stands for something. Bastards.) to record (some) lectures so you can listen to the audio of a lecture over the intarweb if you miss it. Just recently they've added the feature of podcasting so you can download the lecture to your iPod and listen to it later. I don't own an iPod so I'm not entirely au fait with the whole podcasting thing, but I've only used iLectures once in five years and it really was a waste of time. I'd be surprised if anyone at all listened the podcast.

Listening to: The Orb - Toxygene

Peak Drinking Form

2005-10-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

I really have hit my peak drinking form. Not only was I able to complete a carton challenge on Friday, but I was able to back it up nicely with a mattrick on Sunday.

Combine that with little exercise in the last week thanks to inconvenient game times and byes, and you get a very unfit man (hence being in a world of pain after only playing half a game of indoor tonight (I didn't even run that hard, either (maybe you could call me the anti-Dave))).

Listening to: Electric Six -Gay Bar

Wherever did the phrase bright-eyed and bushy-tailed come from?

2005-10-07T11:33:00.000+08:00

Drinking four cans of V in two minutes really does wake you up. And get your heart beating alarmingly quickly.

The only thing missing is Murray Walker

2005-10-07T11:06:00.000+08:00

I was a bit skeptical about the new A1 Grand Prix series, but since F1 has been screwed completely by the new rule system (they restrict each car to ONE set of types for the weekend, then wonder why there's no overtaking and every race has become a boring procession), I was hoping it would be good. As it turns out, my fears were unwarranted - A1 GP is excellent. Not only are all the cars mechanically identical (making for a more competitive race), but we get the pleasure of beating the Poms at something again (Australia came second to Brazil in the first race, England didn't finish). On top of that, some of the drivers are truly insane, and there's a lot of overtaking. And some ridiculous crashes.

And I've mentioned this before, but the driver for Team Australia is named Will Power. That is the greatest name ever. I think the Team England driver is named Brian Speed, which is also quite good. But it's no Will Power.

Listening to: Mint Royale - World

The Friday Rule

2005-09-30T14:34:00.000+08:00

It is a rule that no work gets done on Fridays. Firstly, you wake up a bit later that usual because of the "hey, it's Thursday night, that's almost the weekend" celebrations that went on the night before. Secondly, the "aah, I can do it over the weekend, I have plenty of time then" thoughts start to creep in, meaning you don't do much in the morning. Then you have 8 beers over lunch (because it's Friday lunch), and get no work done in the afternoon because you're too pissed. Then you knock off early because it's Friday afternoon and have to go to Friday arvo drinks. Which are followed by Friday evening drinks. Which are followed by calling people up at 2am on Saturday morning asking them to bring you a kebab.

I love Fridays.

Rather Serene

2005-09-30T14:29:00.000+08:00

I finally saw Serenity last night, and was quite pleasantly surprised. It's quite possibly the best movie I've seen all year (though I am quite biased since I've been a Joss Whedon fan since the start of Buffy), even though I'd only seen a couple of episodes of Firefly before seeing the movie.

From the movie, I also now have a new favourite statement evaaa: "I haven't had anything 'twixt my nethers in a year which don't run on batteries." GOLD. Comedy gold.

The island with no kebabs

2005-09-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

I went to a conference at The Lodge in Rotto midweek (and managed to tie for the lowest attendance rate - I went to 9 of the 30 talks). At the conference after a hard night's drinking on the beach, a few of us decided that we really needed some kebabs. Unfortunately, there aren't any food outlets on Rotto open at 1:30am on a Wednesday morning. No matter, we thought, our good friends Ben, Luke and Con will buy kebabs in Perth and fly them out to us in a helicopter (we really did think this was quite a reasonable request at the time). Suffice it to say they weren't too happy about the calls.

And Rotto really does need a kebab store.

Listening to: Apollo 440 - Liquid Cool (Extended Mix)

Go Joe

2005-09-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

Does anyone else (apart from Jamin) remember the GI Joe cartoons from 1983-85? Well there's a new GI Joe cartoon series called GI Joe: Sigma 6. And it's totally sweet. GIiiiiiiii Joooooooooooe!

Whaaat a dickhead.

2005-09-10T00:44:00.000+08:00

In soccer I usually support the Netherlands (as long as they're not playing Australia, but that never happens), but will quite happily declare that van Nistelrooy is a giant tool. This (8 MB) is a great video of Ruud scoring in their recent international against Andorra, then acting like a schmuck. It IS quite funny, though.

Challengeomatic

2005-09-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

Someone commented the other day that if there's one thing that my friends (mainly the Cool Kids on Oak Lawn) and I do well, it's pointless challenges. For example, there has been:

The Beach Off (swim at the beach every day) - this would have to rank as the best challenge we've accomplished so far. I won the Southern Beach Off on Day 121 (and kept going until Day 125); Richard and Terry tied for the Northern Beach-Off on Day 1. Coming this summer: the worldwide beach off showdown!

The carton challenge (drink a carton in a day) - it's happening next Australia Day for sure.

5-shake Thursday (drink 1 of all 5 flavours of Brownes Supershake in one sitting). I think Jamin made it to about 3; I made it to 4.5 and threw up everywhere. Never again.

the upcoming War on Teriyaki (eat Hampden Rd teriyaki chicken every day of the week). We only had it a few times this week, making it more of an incursion on teriyaki

the suit-off (wear a suit every day of Mid Year Rotto). Luke won this one easily.

settlersurvivorthon (which actually wasn't really a challenge), and now the proposed survivor-off (download and watch every episode of survivor - last person awake wins).

Rooboy's music challenge (listen to his entire mp3 collection the whole way through). I think it was about 10000 songs.

(I've probably forgotten quite a few other challenges.) Chocolate Bear's also just proposed a KFC Challenge, but I'm not that much of a KFC fan. Another Carton Challenge is definitely on the cards, though.

Listening to: Planet Funk - The Switch

24 Hour King of Sudoku

2005-09-05T11:48:00.000+08:00

Human-Computer Interaction might be a boring unit, but the assignments are nothing short of fun. Not only was the first assgnment a study of how people's performance in Need for Speed improves as they get more practise, but the second assignment is to write a php Sudoku puzzle generator/solver. How sweet is that.

No more Richie for you

2005-09-04T12:20:00.000+08:00

I was quite worried when I saw a link to this article proclaiming that Richie Benaud is retiring from cricket commentary, but as it turns out he's only retiring from English commentary and will still work for Channel 9. Maybe they pulled the same scam as in The Final Dig and threatened to bring back Max Walker if he didn't extend his contract. I like to think so.

Listening to: Aphex Twin - Pulsewidth

It's not cool to stool in the school pool, fool

2005-09-04T11:57:00.001+08:00

A Mr. T comic book is being released in December! Yeah! Oh hell yeah!

Listening to: Gerling - High Jackers Manual

Big Kev might not be excited anymore, but I sure am

2005-08-29T13:01:00.000+08:00

According to this article, Universal and Microsoft have just signed a deal to make a movie based on Halo. On top of that, the draft script was written by the same guy who wrote The Beach and 28 Days Later. Hopefully it'll be directed by Danny Boyle as well (he directed both of those movies and Trainspotting (and he's put an Underworld song in the soundtrack of every movie he's directed)). Phwoar.

Real men do it in beige, bone, white, off white, pearl, cream or ivory

2005-08-29T10:36:00.000+08:00

This is an excellent little program. An animated Richie Benaud walks around your desktop and tells you the live cricket score. Gold.

Just don't do it

2005-08-29T10:24:00.000+08:00

This from Hogbender is the funniest story I've heard in a while (besides Rooboy's story about someone stealing a penguin).

<edit>It seems Richard has also posted a blog linking to that story. Way to steal my thunder, Richard.</edit>

Cool screen name

2005-08-29T10:20:00.000+08:00

I've just noticed there's a contributor on Arseblog called Spongebobcuntface. Whoever he or she is, I tip my cap to them.

Do not iron cat when wet

2005-08-29T10:15:00.000+08:00

It wasn't a good weekend for watching sport.

The Glory lost (and were shite)

The Dockers lost (I am now a ring-in Roos supporter since they're playing Port next weekend; carn the mighty Roos)

Australia lost the cricket (though we were pretty good in the 4th innings of the match - why couldn't we bowl like that on the first two days? (the umpriring was also ridiculously crap (Dean Jones did a nice bit with the magic pen the commentators can use to draw on the screen to tick off the reasons why Katich wasn't out))).

My only consolation is that the Eagles lost and Woosha would have beaten the crap out of his players for that.

Speaking of the Glory match, Pringles Boy (I still love that name) put on a fine display of heckling at the Glory (featuring the loudest "I fucked your mother" call I've heard in quite a while) which provoked the line referee into giving him the finger. We were quite surprised a professional referee would do that (it reminds me of the Simpsons episode with Darryl Strawberry "You suck, Strawberry! Don't worry Mom, he a professional athlete. These comments roll right off their back.").

And the Baninjcochbloc table at the UWA soccer quiz night smashed pie, despite the last round having a strange proportion of questions about dams. That Year 9 Social Studies project on the Gnangara Mound has finally paid off.

Listening to: Jamiroquai - Starchild

All Glory and Praise to Sanity Preserving Beer

2005-08-24T01:28:00.000+08:00

I've been flat out working on assignments and what not over the last couple of days, and am quite rapidly running out of both motivation and sanity. Formal methods may be a reasonably interesting subject, but when the work you've produced is both complete, correct and wrong all at the same time (congratulations! If you didn't get that (rather weak) joke, you are not a huge nerd. Well done!), you run out of patience quite quickly.

I've finished my work for tonight and am indulging in some Lowenbrau (which, incidentally is only $42 from Woolies liquor, phwoar). My body might be better off if I was sleeping right now, but my mind is benefitting far more by having a beer and watching cartoons for a bit.

And the new Goldfrapp and Ladytron albums are both excellent.

Listening to: Goldfrapp - Number 1

Now I'm outraged

2005-08-14T18:03:00.000+08:00

To this point in the Ashes series, the third highest run-scorer for Australia is...

Extras (143).

What the hell is going on?

(And by the by, Captain Outrage now has a blog. It's quite ugly though.)

Another band that only went to Melbourne and Sydney

2005-08-14T14:32:00.000+08:00

The Go! Team are on Live at the Wireless on Monday night at 8pm (and repeated on Sunday at 5pm).

Unpimp My Ride

2005-08-12T10:20:00.000+08:00

My car's been in for its 100,000 km service since Sunday (and it's not one of those tune-ups where it's in the shop for a week and only gets 5 hours of work done on it - the guy servicing it has been working on the car full-time since I dropped it off). The service itself only took a bit over two days, but the rest of the time has been spent fixing all the things done to the car by its first owner.

I'm the third owner of this particular car, and it seems the first owner had riced it up quite a bit, then removed most of the custom components when he sold it. The obvious signs are the custom bumpers and exhaust, but what I didn't know about was the truckload of non-standard wiring throughout the car (most of which was connected to nothing). However, a few things were left behind, although they weren't connected: we found a couple of strobe lights - yes, STROBE LIGHTS - inside the cabin, tucked away. On top of that there was soundproofing padding inside all of the doors and lining most of the other panels, designed to keep sound IN, not OUT (the standard stereo had been taken out at some point, then put back in before it was sold (in the process of padding all the doors, they DID manage to break the central locking (which should now be fixed))).

I do wish they'd left the strobe lights connected. That would have been cool.

Beach of Dreams

2005-08-07T16:16:00.000+08:00

I don't normally blog about dreams, but the one I had a couple of days ago was quite entertaining.

It was the beginning of summer, which meant the beach off was on again. However, we'd decided that last year's rules (you must swim at the beach every day, no restriction on the length of time you spend in the water, but you must get your head wet (unless you have either an ear infection or a funky hairdo)) were too soft, and under the new rule all beach off competitors (or beach-offers if you will) had to spend 24 hours a day at the beach for every day of summer.

Quite a few things happened on the beach (most of which I don't remember), but the highlights I can remember are: everyone built shacks on Cottesloe beach to stay in (except for Jamin, who built himself a paddling pool instead). Richard would turn up every now and then, mutter "youse guys are all fucking cunts" and wander off again. Jack managed to convince the rest of his cricket team to play all their matches on the beach instead of on their cricket pitch, so he could stay in the competition.

I won the competition when a storm rolled in (not unlike the last night of the beach-off this year), and everyone else was literally blown off the beach by the wind.

Now I really can't wait until summer.

Listening to: Tall Poppies - Chameleon

Shameless Plug

2005-08-02T00:08:00.000+08:00

I was about to make a shameless plug for my cousins' cd launch at His Majesty's this Friday (clicky), but I've just realised that the event is sold out. Instead I'll tell you what Alex (the band's drummer) said last Friday night: (now, mind the other band members have been working nonstop for about two months to put this cd launch together) "I really should do some practise; I can't remember how any of the songs go."

Should be an interesting night, in any case.

Listening to: Orbital - P.E.T.R.O.L.

YEAH!

2005-08-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

I've had this on the brain for a couple of days now. It's still brilliant.

Listening to: The Thrills - Big Sur

Life's a pie

2005-08-01T11:23:00.000+08:00

I saw a poster for The Wedding Crashers (which looks to be quite good) this morning: it featured the tag line "Life's a party. Crash it." However I prefer the line "Life's a pie. Smash it." mmm smashed pie. And speaking of pie, I like the idea of a piepod.

Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem

2005-07-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

I love house sitting (if only someone would come over and cook me dinner every night). Although I'm only here (an uncle's place) for 6 nights (I'm really only here to look after the dog (they have a new, rather excitable dog (the old placid one died) and I was warned before accepting the offer that it misbehaves quite bit (it certainly did when I was around to pick up the keys yesterday). I've found that today she was quite well behaved, I guess because I don't spoil it like the owners do - if she behaves herself she can stay inside, otherwise I put her outside. It's quite amazing how quickly she stopped misbehaving once I told her off and sent her outside)).

As an added bonus, I get to use their car, which has a neat little GPS system. I've had no end of fun setting a route which I deliberately disobey, just so I can hear the GPS being increasingly insistent: "Turn left at the next corner"... "You missed the corner, turn left at the next intersection"... "Turn left"... "TURN LEFT NOW"...

muhahahaha! It's true that the smallest victories are sometimes the sweetest.

Listening to: Doves - Catch the Sun

There's a pirate party in my pants and everyone's invited

2005-07-17T22:54:00.000+08:00

On Friday night, there was a sign upstairs at Carnegies which read "Private Parties Available". Beth pointed it out to me, and added that at first she read it as "Pirate Parties Available". We were both more excited about the idea of a pirate party.

For quite a few years now, I've been watching the majority of the stages of the Tour de France. It always amazes me how the riders can ride for up to 5 or 6 hours (half of which is up mountains) for 21 days. I feel tired just watching them.

Listening to: Royksopp - 49 Percent

World of Pain

2005-07-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

You know you've had a big night out when you're still quite unsteady on your feet at 3pm the next day. I had the UWA Soccer Club pub crawl last night, and it was fandamntastic. We started at Carnegies (and stayed there for quite a while longer than planned as the bus broke down for 45 minutes or so on the way to the pub). We eventually got to the leedy (quite a few of us had a Fruit Tingle there, it's 5 drinks in a cocktail shaker and tastes remarkably like a fruit tingle), Llama Bar and the Hip-E club (though I'm a little hazy on the details from the time we left the Llama Bar onwards).

I'm still quite taken by my phone's camera, it's done quite a good job of helping me remember what happened last night. I've posted a few (quite grainy and increasingly blurry) photos here.

On another note, I actually get to give a bride away at her wedding in a couple of months (it's one of my aunts (my dad gave her away at her last wedding, and since that marriage ended in divorce she's told him he did a dud job and now it's my turn (she's also told Pete it's his turn next time))).

On yet another note, I bought DVDs of the first 5 seasons of The Simpsons today. Hurrah!

Listening to: Faithless - Insomnia

I don't dislike you, I nothing you

2005-07-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

I went through a random breath test on the way home from soccer tonight - no problem, I hadn't been drinking. After the test, the officer said "and here's a present for you" and gave me this:

Finally, not drink driving is paying off - now you get presents!

And just because it's quite a good photo, here's Chigga Dan giving us a charming semi-squatting blue steel look before his mighty win in the indoor finals yesterday:

Listening to: Bent - Always

I'm in a glass case of emotion

2005-07-08T14:38:00.000+08:00

It seems that I do the majority of by blogging when I'm in the cs labs and trying to avoid doing some kind of constructive work... like right now! This week has been pretty uneventful: work, uni stuff and soccer as usual. We've had a couple of ridiculously cold training sessions (I was quite surprised when I turned up to training with Ice Ice Gavin last night to find Chocolate Bear and only 6 girls there (though I really shouldn'tve been surprised given that some people had indoor semi finals on and it really was fuckin cold (I found myself kicking long balls quite wide on a couple of occasions just so that I could sprint after them and stay warm (yeah ok it was my fault for not bringing a jacket to training but you get that)))).

I also managed to lose quite dismally at Jamin's poker night on Wednesday (but not as much as Jamin, which is the main point). As usual, Chigga Dan cleaned up (maybe I should retire and take up reading about and playing poker, it seems to be paying off quite well).

Listening to: Moby - James Bond Theme Remix

Stay classy, San Diego

2005-07-05T01:04:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite movies is Will Ferrell's Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Apparently when it was shot they ended up with a movie that was nearly 3 hours long, which wasn't great for a comedy movie, and it was severely edited (entire sub-plots were completely cut out) until it was around 90 minutes. I've only just found out that the outtakes were patched together to make an entire second 90 minute movie called Wake Up, Ron Burgundy! and was released in the US as a DVD box set with the first movie. Having only now seen it, I can assure you it's comedy gold (there are a few things you have to selectively ignore (particularly in the opening 30 minutes) in order for things to make sense, but who cares when it's still quite funny (it really wouldn't've taken much work to turn it into an entirely separate sequel)).

Listening to: The Scrubs Theme Song

It's a full scale goon assault

2005-07-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

The uni mid-year Rotto assault (as maligned in the worst newspaper in the country a couple of weeks ago) was on earlier this week. Thanks to a hardline crackdown on street drinking and $2000 bonds being required (someone commented that the bond on their crappy cabin was more than the bond on their actual house), it wasn't as raucous as in previous years. But it wasn't too far off the pace.

The tone for the week was set when I walked into the Rotto liquor store at 10am on Monday morning to find this sign:

And what good fortune it was.

Other highlights were:
- Yagan spending 6 hours cooking Lentil and Vegetable Soup before charging down the street inviting everyone to come enjoy some lentil soup. 40 people turned up for soup. For days afterwards people walking past our bungalow would ask if we had any more.
- Watching people drinking goon out of a kettle
- The stab yourself in the crotch competition
- Instituting a rule that all house members must have some kind of kitchen utensil on their person at all times (we only brought this in on the last night, but will do it next year) (I had a spatula)
- Tying fishing line to a wallet, throwing it out onto the road and yanking it away when someone tried to pick it up (we caught 10 people in 3 hours and consider it a worthy investment of our time)
- Most house members wearing suits throughout the week

And the greatest highlight of all:

In the movie 'Cool Hand Luke', a guy eats 50 hard-boiled eggs. Keen to emulate this feat, Llama bought 5 dozen eggs, boiled them and started eating (we set an initial time limit of 1 hour to eat all 50). The initial egg-eating rate was about 1 egg every 90 seconds, which dropped off quickly. After 10 eggs, he lost the sense of taste. After 15 eggs, he was quite quickly losing control of all bodily functions. After 20 eggs, he lost his sense of hearing, smell and all balance. By this point the rangers had come over, seeing a number of egg cartons on our porch and concerned that we were throwing them at people (inicdentally, apparently some of my housemates later threw sausages at anyone walking past). After 24 eggs, he threw up five times.

Later that night, he ate the rest of the eggs.

Listening to: Beck - Go It Alone

Banner me good

2005-06-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

Having blatantly ripped off Chocolate Bear's changing banner idea (which he blatantly ripped off me), I've created a few (8 so far) new banners for the blog - I'll add more once I get a chance.

It's nice to see Andrew Symonds prove that the more you drink, the better you are at cricket. I liked Kerry O'Keefe's line: "Before his next match I'm going to take Symonds out drinking at 4:30am. He'll probably hit a double century."

Fire Engines - the silent killers of the automobile world

2005-06-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

Holy crap it's been a week and a half since I blogged. Exams do that to you. Fortunately exams are now over so I can revert to my usual regimen of work, bumming around and drinking quite a bit (incidentally I only realised how nervous I had been during this morning's exam when I discovered I'd bitten my fingernails back until they hurt and hadn't even noticed it (I was something of a biter in my younger days, but had stopped a while ago (or so I thought) (yes I realise I didn't play on the 'biter' line, but let's face it, that discussion is going to go places none of us want to go)).

And while I remember, Batman Begins ROCKS. Plus it has ninjas and they totally flip out and wail on everyone. Ninjas are cool. And the Batmobile is rockin.

Also while I remember, there's a new video at http://thetallpoppies.com - click on the 'Video' link. Duh. It's kinda funny and, well, quite strange.

I'm considering ripping off Chocolate Bear's blog banner changing idea (which he ripped off the banner changing script I wrote for Liquid Cool in the first place), since I realised I have quite a few photos that would work quite well as a banner. The deciding factor, as always, will be whether I can be arsed or not. Meaning that as soon as I have some work to put off, I'll get right onto it.

(I'm quite aware my blog post titles are getting stranger, this one is a reference to the newest episode of Family Guy. Which is faaantastic.)

Listening to: Jamiroquai - Seven Days in Sunny June
(that song really should be named One Sunny Day in June After It's Been Pissing Down for 20 Days and It's Really Still Quite Cold. I'll admit it's not quite as catchy, but at least it's the truth.)

I'm quite addicted to Sudoku now

2005-06-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

Well my ethics committee submission is finally done, so now I can actually study for exams. What a novel idea.

More to the point, it really is bullshit that some people in the Department of Computer Science have to have their projects approved by the ethics committee, when 95% of the questions in the application form are along the lines of "Will participants be exposed to ionising or non-ionising radiation?", "Will blood or other tissue samples be taken?" and "Will participants be required to have sex in an uncomfortable place... like the back of a Volkswagen?" I had to tick "Not Applicable" to every single question which gave me the option.

No my Software Engineering project does not involve inseminating people. Though it would be kind of cool if it did.

(If you're wondering why I'm whinging about filling in a form, I had to attach any relevant proposals or surveys I plan to use to the application, meaning instead of doing all that over mid-year break, I had to do it this week. Bastards.)

On a cheerier subject, after their Australian tour was cancelled, uncancelled (I don't think 'uncancelled' is a word, it just doesn't work somehow), rescheduled then rescheduled again, Doves are finally coming to Perth. I'm rather chuffed, though SCB is understandably more so (I'm rather taken by the word 'chuffed' (SCB stands for Super Chocolate Bear, it's from Scrubs)).

And how's about the article in The West Australian (crap newspaper that it is) claiming that the $2000 bonds being imposed on UWA students going to mid-year Rotto this year are a result of $10000 damage being caused last year. Damage included "broken windows, furniture placed on rooves, and human excrement smeared on the floor of one unit". Charming. (I'm quite taken by the dress code for our unit - suits. It doesn't matter if you're swimming, sleeping, whatever. You are required to be suited at all times, including tie. Classy. I'm also hoping the crew of the Rotto ferrys will let us have champagne on the foredeck of the ferry in our suits.

Listening to: Boo Boo & Mace - Cloudburst

Cars at my house: Leroy, Luc, Guv'nor Bruce, Malik (in sprit only) and...?

2005-06-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

So how's about me finally getting a replacement for Malik (my old car). I haven't decided on a name for it yet, but the shortlist of potential candidates is: "Tyrone", "Horatio" and "Roksaburo" (after one of the Iron Chefs). I was quite chuffed that the car came with a 6-stacker cd player, but when I went to put a cd in I discovered the magazine (the plastic thing that holds all the discs in the stacker) was missing. Garr. (It only costs something like $20 to replace, but it's the principle of the thing. (I can't believe I'm complaining about a $20 problem when I've just spent over 600 times that amount on a new car. That's quite self-indulgent, even for me.))

Oh and it's a 2000 Honda Civic GLi, and it's totally sweet.

And now for a shameless plug: a couple of my cousins (the twins, for those that know them) are launching their CD in August (twice, actually). The first launch is on:
Friday 5th August
Downstairs at His Maj
Cnr Hay and King Street Perth
Doors Open 8pm

Then the CD launch take 2:
Sunday 7th August
Universal Bar
William Street Northbridge
After 8pm

Be there or be uncool, fool.

See thetallpoppies.com. (Oh and I wrote the site, so blame me when it doesn't work.)

Listening to: The Future Sound of London - Moscow

Party leads to drinking... drinking leads to pain... pain leads to suffering.

2005-06-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

Firstly I'd like to thank everyone who rocked up to my birthday celebrations last night. Secondly I'd like to apologise to everyone who rocked up to my birthday celebrations last night. Finally I'd like to declare that I'm never drinking again. Ever. (Ok, I can't back that up. But I'll never be that drunk again. I don't think it's possible.)

Listening to: Royksopp - Beautiful Day Without You

I want what the dog's eating

2005-06-02T11:36:00.000+08:00

Considering exams are only a couple of weeks away, you'd've thought I would've been doing quite a bit of study this week. Not so. I've been working quite a bit to save some dosh for the impending 3 1/2 weeks I'll have to take off work for exams (and for the ridiculously large bond we have to pay for the mid-year Rotto accommodation (there's quite a history of people breaking a lot of stuff (there is also a history of playing centurion at 8am))), and have been otherwise generally slacking off by playing poker, soccer and general bumming around. (I have actually finished all my assignments a week early for the first time ever. It's a very strange and unfamiliar feeling.) Plus I have more important things on my mind right now. Like partying.

Impending celebrations include Mid Year Rotto, Tav Disco, Disco Ball, (Solid Gold's list of annual events is great. It includes Rollerdisco, Blue Light Disco, Tav Disco I & II and Disco Ball. Yes, there is a running theme there) and most importantly, my birthday shindig for cool kids and assorted fun people. I was informed by Penward Penishands that letting my birthday go by without celebration wasn't acceptable (particularly since it's a long weekend and noone has to play soccer the next day for once), and some kind of riotous merriment was required. As such, it's on like Donkey Kong.

Kudos also to Richard and Terry for starting the Beach-Off for the northern summer yesterday (my money's on Richard to win, Terry's a bit of a wuss (they only have to go to the beach for 126 days in a row to beat my record (this may require them to move to somewhere closer to the beach, but I reckon it'd be worth it). Easy.)).

Random link of the day: Pieku

Listening to: The Go! Team - Panther Dash

Fuck you, man

2005-05-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

I'd say it's been an uneventful few days since I last blogged but it really hasn't. It's just that most of what I've been doing has been quite boring. Only one assignment left for the semester, but it's not due until Friday. As such, I'd feel irresponsible if I finished it before Thursday night.

I did manage to get as far out as Beckenham to watch the UWA Girls' soccer yesterday, and wisely left at half-time while they were still up 1-0 (apparently they lost 2-1, but I didn't see the other teams' goals so they don't count (I'm sure that rule is written down somewhere)). It seems I've been adopted as an Ass Coach for the girls teams (based on who was yelling orders to me at training last Thursday, you'd think Penachu was calling the shots for the team, not Chocolate Bear), which is quite a fun reason to run around and thus avoid doing work for two training sessions and one gameday per week. And let's face it, me + 20 sweaty women is a fun recipe for excitement any day of the week.

I made my glorious return to the Monday indoor soccer team tonight and managed to make quite an entrance, scoring within 60 seconds of coming on the pitch. I got a goal, too.

(Yes that last joke was vaguely dirty, but I'm still rather proud of it. If you were in any way offended, then too bad. I regret nothing!)

We managed to hang around chatting for the better part of an hour and a half after the game (3 times the length of the actual match), and I remembered why I love hanging around with the Monday night team: they're all sick, peverted people with a vicious, evil sense of humour. And I love it.

(Incidentally, Daffyd and Penaldo mentioned they were running on Wednesday, not Friday, so needed a new team name (their old one was FART (Friday Action Running Team, or something like that), so I suggested Wednesday Action Ninja Group (or WANG (not only does it use the term 'wang', which I'm still rather taken by, but it very accurately describes the group members. (Ninjas fight ALL the time, and they can totally flip out and wail on you. (Plus they can kill you by just looking at you.)))). I'm still rather proud of the name.)

And there's a new Royksopp album out (thanks to the magic of the intarweb I have it already, but will end up buying it as soon as it's released (actually, the last 10 or so albums I've bought I'd already downloaded. Take that RIAA.)). Huzzah's are in order.

Love, kisses, and a bloody great camel bite right behind the knee where it really fucken hurts;
Jonsi.

Listening to: Royksopp - 49 Percent

Tonight's Mattrick points: 2

Indiana Jonesy and the Temple of Poon

2005-05-28T15:02:00.000+08:00

A belated congratulations to scousers and all scouser-related products everywhere after Liverpool lifted the European Champinons Cup for the first time in a couple of decades mid-week. I didn't watch the match live (some of us actually had work to do on Thursday) but the replay the following night was no less impressive. I'm not sure Chocolate Bear will ever take his Liverpool top off again. Since I had to rely on the internet to tell me the score the following morning, I noticed these quite funny comments on the soccernet live commentary, and thought I would share them with you lucky people. Man I want this guy's job.


 MILAN 0-0 LIVERPOOL: Serginho places the ball very carefully. He skies it over the bar. Terrible penalty, and he looks rightly broken. Doofus. 

 MILAN 0-1 LIVERPOOL: Hamann stutters in his run-up, but curls a good shot inside Dida's right-hand post. He takes a deep breath, and sticks his tongue out as he walks back to the centre circle. 

 MILAN 0-1 LIVERPOOL: Pirlo tamely shoots to Dudek's right, but the keeper, a yard or so off his line, palms his effort wide. Dreadful penalty. She should be ashamed. 

 MILAN 0-2 LIVERPOOL: Cisse explodes with joy as he side-foots home. He jumps and jigs and pumps his arms. 

 MILAN 1-2 LIVERPOOL: Tomasson sprints up to the ball and drives his shot home. Like a whirlwind. Blink and you'll miss it. 

 MILAN 1-2 LIVERPOOL: Dida makes Riise wait by disappearing behind the goal. The Milan keeper then makes a stunning low save as Riise side-foots for the corner. 

 MILAN 2-2 LIVERPOOL: Kaka crashes his shot high in to the net, ignoring Dudek's blatent efforts to put him out of his stride. 

 MILAN 2-3 LIVERPOOL: Smicer keeps Liverpool's noses in front with a calm side-foot effort. He affords himself a smug smile. 

 MILAN 2-3 LIVERPOOL: Shevchenko tries to be cute. He succeeds only in chipping the ball lamely at Dudek and making himself look like a fool. LIVERPOOL WIN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!!  

 This was a special effort from Liverpool. A stunning comeback. 

 Dudek is interviewed by British television. He makes no sense in his words, mumbling something about Bruce Grobelaar. His eyes are darting all over the show. 

 Cisse and Traore embrace with their tops off. There are a lot of muscles and tattoos involved. 

 Maldini kicks his heels. He wanders around the half-way line with his arms crossed. He looks moody and surly, but very handsome. He can take some consolation in that. 

 The celebrations are wild. The Liverpool players have run the length of the field to cheer with their own fans, who are combusting with excitement and glee. 

 Riise skips like a girl, and Garcia jigs along with his friend. Gerrard is mobbed by random strangers. Hamann almost musters a smile. 

 Carragher is interviewed. His voice is so high that only dogs can hear what he's saying. He mentions something about his groin and his calf, before making a sound that resembles a horse neighing. 

 "It hasn't sunk in," says Gerrard. He spits on the ground and picks his nose as he is asked some inane question. Then he mumbles something about being proud and the fans being the 12th man. Then he disappears in to the fog. 

 My flat-mate is a Liverpool fan. He's going to be excited right now. Excited, and drunk. I hope the neighbours are out.

Oh and Bent are programming Rage tonight.

Listening to: Bent - Coming Back

Baby: the other other white meat

2005-05-24T10:59:00.000+08:00

So how's about that Star Wars being THE best movie EVER. I won't say any more about it, since some people haven't seen it yet. However, I will talk about the advantages of seeing it in Gold Class. Their icecream sundaes rock the socks. And the ushers are much foxier. And the seats are really comfortable. That's about it. (It would've been nice to get free soft drink and popcorn as at La Premiere, but now I'm just sounding greedy.)

In more important news, a new Retro Betty's is opening in Greater Union Innaloo (oppsite Timezone)! This is a big moment for me. Retro Betty's make THE best burgers EVER. And just as importantly, they make the Mach 1 Rocket... a Coke and Espresso spider (it really is as powerful as it sounds. And it's faaantastic. (in fact, it might be the type of drink certain people (if by certain people I mean all those who fell asleep in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (how could you fall asleep in Hitchhikers, it was great)) need to stay awake through some movies) (I'm well aware that last set of nested comments was more confusing than usual, but I'm rather proud of it. I apologise for nothing.)). In fact, just talking about Retro Betty's is making me a bit hungry... it might be time for Hampden Rd Teriyaki Chicken Tuesday soon.

Oh, and Chocolate Bear gave Penaldo a shiner. Whaaat a dickhead.

Listening to: dZihan & Kamien - Homebase

I love Jens Lehmann

2005-05-22T02:37:00.000+08:00

Arsenal were pretty crap throughout the whole FA Cup final - I think we didn't put a single shot on goal until the 50th minute. We had our arses saved by a brilliant game from Jens (and Freddie's forehead, not that he knew much about it), who capped it off with a great penalty save against Ginger Sack which ultimately won us the game. Anyway, a win's a win and we've finally got some silverware (other than the Community Shield, woohoo) out of this season.

Credit too must also be given to Dante and myself for giving an appropriate amount of shit to the room full of ring-in Manure supporters we watched the game with. I think Arseblogger summed it up beautifully when he said "Congratulations to the players, the fans, the manager, and everyone, and United - you can shove it up your hole, you cunts."

Listening to: The Shamen - Space Time

24 hour king of go-karts

2005-05-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

Today has been a good day. After spending the morning at work, a few guys from the office wandered off to the uni club restaurant. I had to finish a phone call, so was about a minute behind them. When I sat down at the table, one of the guys said to the boss "watch out for this guy (me), he's a scammer." I didn't know what he meant, and ignored it. The talk at the table seemed to focus on work more than usual, but I didn't really notice anything strange. After a delightful but pricey lunch I stood up to pay for my share, and was quite confused when everyone except the boss walked straight past the cashier. Little did I know that I had just crashed a lunchtime planning meeting... score! Free lunch!

This was later followed by free go-karting (to which I WAS invited), and proceeded to destroy the opposition (that I had a faster kart may or may not have had something to do with it).

I have something of a penchant for spicy food, which is a problem when I prepare food for others who may not share my passion. At dinner with some more of the work guys (one of whom has a pizza oven in his backyard, how cool is that) I created a masterful pizza, liberally covering it with chillies and hot salami. I then hid this under a couple of layers of cheese, and didn't give any warnings before serving it... most people commented that they couldn't feel their lips afterwards.

I am no longer welcome in their house.

I'm full of caffeine and ready for some actshun

2005-05-19T11:03:00.000+08:00

I'm regretting the decision I made a while back to retire from the Monday night indoor team. I made the decision for a couple of reasons - firstly I work all day Mondays, so thought I should really be getting some work done on Monday nights rather than playing soccer. Secondly, I had been down on form for a considerable length of time and thought I was dragging the team's performance down.

However, now that I've stopped playing on Mondays for about a month, the following things have happened: I get home from work on Mondays and have the following discussion between the two voices in my brain, which I have since named 'Professor Frink' and 'Party Boy':

Professor Frink: OK, now I can do some study!
Party Boy: Nah, I'm pretty tired.
Professor Frink: No, I want to learn!
Party Boy: Not interested. Tell you what, let's watch tv!
Professor Frink: Sounds like fun. I'm in! Nya-haven-glaven.

So that excuse is out. Secondly, I've noticed that now I only play indoor once a week, I've actually put on 3 kilos in a month to take my weight up to 73. (I NEVER put on weight, so I'm acting early to avoid it (though it's mainly due to my diet being quite crap)). Thirdly, I went out to dinner with the team earlier in the week, and remembered how much fun hanging around with the team can be. Finally, I played pretty well last Thursday so reckon I might be able to hold my own (the fact that the Monday team has dropped down a division since I played will help, too).

So I've petitioned the Manager and have been let back into the squad in the illustrious role of 'fill-in'. Huzzahs are in order.

Listening to: Magnum PI theme music

On the trumpet like a Mexican

2005-05-17T19:18:00.000+08:00

It's been said before, but when your country's traditional dishes consist mainly of cheese and beans, there's only one thing that's going to happen. I had dinner at the Mexican Kitchen in Freo last night, and although the meal was fantastic it had severe repercussions later on. I mean everyone likes a bit of their own brand, but my eyes were watering in the car on the way home.

And how did eight of us drink $140 worth of cervezas over one meal when half of us were driving? Impressive.

It's like having a conversation, but you don't get to speak

2005-05-15T20:35:00.000+08:00

I guess Haloscan must be having issues because the comment links on my blog have mysteriously disappeared. This looks like a job that can only be solved by ignoring it. So I'll move on.

This really had been quite an uninspiring weekend - drank a bit at the tav on Friday before being stuck in traffic for 45 minutes trying to get from uni to Subi... the best part of which was when Gav got out of the car to take a slash. The line of traffic we were in hadn't moved for a few minutes, so it seemed like a safe move. Alas, it was at that moment that the traffic atarted moving again. Over the next 5-10 minutes, I waould occasionally see a figure running furiously towards the car down the middle of the road. As soon as he got within 4 carlengths or so, the traffic would start moving again and I'd lose sight of him. Why, you ask, didn't I slow down? Well I did a bit, but thought the cars behind me would start getting pissed off if I continued to leave 50-100m gaps between myself and the car in front of me like I did while I was hanging back for him. Plus I'm a bit of a bastard. (He got back to the car about a kilometer later, having given up on this whole running thing and decided to saunter up at a leisurely pace. We had intended to drop Fluke off at his house in Leedy, but decided that he could walk the remaining 4km home much faster than we could ever drive there.

And then the water corporation announced today that they were not responsible for the maintenance of the pipe that burst, and did not know who had built it. There's only one line I can say to that: "Fuck you guys! You kids give me the shits!"

Listening to: Underworld - Two Months Off

The Carnage

2005-05-12T15:16:00.000+08:00

Photos as promised...

Listening to: Blur - Parklife

Beer and cartoons: a winning combination

2005-05-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

I took a night off study last night to go drinking (first at Uni Club with MyDave, Chigga Dan, Joey Jo Jo, Jackarse, Gavilson and Chocolate Bear, then at home while watching cartoons) and found I've developed quite an affinity for Asahi Super Dry (now that it's beer of the month at Uni Club and therefore vaguely affordable (that'll change when it's back up to full price again)).

Many people live for the weekend, but it seems I only live for Fridays - it's the only day of the week I don't have an opportunity to study, so is therefore the best day of the week. I've found that I have to spend most weekends at uni to study, which don't differentiate them much from weekdays. On Fridays however, I spend the morning at work (yes I actually quite enjoy work on Fridays because it's refreshing to have to think about something other than study (plus it's Friday so everyone is usually in a good mood)), have lunch with the some of the lads from work, then knock off and head to the tav with the Tav Cool Kids (as opposed to the Cool Kids on Oak Lawn). Only one more day before I can get my Friday on...

Inspired as I was by the plethora of fit people I associate with, I was inspired to start doing weights a few weeks ago (ok, I'm not the fittest guy in the world, but I've always done a fair bit of cardio exercise in the form of soccer, running and what not (weights, however, were never something I'd done much of)). I've been pleasantly surprised that although noone would notice much of a change, I've felt quite a bit better since I started doing it - though I doubt I'll ever do much more than the free weights I'm doing at home already. It does help me feel less crap at the end of the day, and that's enough for me.

Listening to: The Stone Roses - I Am The Resurrection

No longer in like Flynn

2005-05-10T09:44:00.000+08:00

That didn't last long, did it?

You know what I don't like about second thoughts? They're usually different to the first thought. The truth of the matter is that we're both too busy to make anything work right now, so it's probably all for the best.

I went to go to the ref this morning when I realised that all guild services (tav, ref, guild cafe, copy centre, co-op bookshop, etc) have been closed down for today in protest against VSU. However, so far it's only had the effect of pissing off a lot of guild members (for once, I actually wanted to have some things bound at the copy centre today! Grr). Being a mighty Uni Club member though, (and according to the Uni Club propaganda, therefore a better person than all of you undesirables) I still have access to beers and steak on campus today. Suffer in your jocks.

And now my neck hurts. No fair.

Listening to: Moby - Slipping Away

RIP Malik: 1988-2005

2005-05-09T20:14:00.000+08:00

My car died today. And just like the way I want to die, it was noisy and involved two women.

Traffic was banked up on the Mitchell Freeway offramp at Mounts Bay Road (right next to the Convention Centre) most of the way back to the Mount Road flyover (near Parliament House). I joined the back of the queue, came to a stop and happened to look in the rear-vision mirror. There really are few things more terrifying than seeing a car speeding to you... and it's worse when you can see the driver is looking the other way.

A woman (about 25) had just got on the freeway at Wellington St and was looking to jump across the 3 or 4 lanes to the right in order to get into a lane which would get her onto the Narrows Bridge. Unfortunately, that meant she was looking to the right and behind her - which meant that when we hit she wasn't even braking (she actually accelerated through the accident a bit). In turn my car slid underneath the car in front of me, and soon Malik was wearing a 1988 Skyline as a hat.

Even though I saw it coming (for about a second), the primary (the VW Golf behind me) and secondary (hitting and pushing up the Skyline in front of me) impacts were quite impressive (she was doing around 80km/h) - it managed to throw my wallet from the front dash onto the back seat and a lot of other stuff around the car. The woman in the Skyline managed to drive her car off my bonnet and into the emergency lane; it took a while to get my car to move, but I eventually coaxed it off the road.

I finally managed to get out and inspect the damage: my boot had been compressed from about 80 cm from the back of the rear window to the bumper down to about 10cm, the front 30cm of the car had been crushed completely and the rest of the bonnet had crumpled accordingly. I was actually quite impressed that both ends of the car had crumpled so well, yet the cabin hadn't suffered any major damage. If ever there was an ad for the VW Golf though, this was it. After hitting a stationary car at 80km/h, the front panel had bent inwards and downwards, yet once I moved my car the panels all popped out into their original positions (you could see a few crease marks, but it didn't look too bad at all - she actually managed to drive it away without any problems). The Skyline would need a new exhust, rear lights and bumper, but wasn't too bad either. For Malik, however, this was the end of the road (it wasn't even towable, they had to get a flatbed truck).

So now I have an icepack on the back of my neck (I went straight to the chiropractor afterwards, who told me that I usually have two vertebra slightly out of alignment (I go to the chiro every 6 weeks or so so I don't end up with back problems down the track), but this time I had 7 vertebra out of place. A new personal record. Pete was a bit worse off, he was in the passenger seat so couldn't brace against the steering wheel, plus he didn't see the car coming (I did open my mouth to warn him, but all that came out was "awwww shit" (he's just left to go to a wok night, so his back can't be too bad)). Considering the state the car's been left in, it's quite surprising we didn't get more badly hurt.

Anyway, I'm carless for the next month or however long it takes to get a new one and get the insurance sorted out. I'm thinking of getting a 92-94 Civic/Integra/Prelude, something like that. With an mp3 cd player.

Someone, be a pet and be my personal taxi for the next month.

(Oh, and my car was named Malik after JD and Turk's car from Scrubs).

Listening to: Badly Drawn Boy - Disillusion

When come back bring pie

2005-05-08T22:32:00.000+08:00

Someone find me a Collingwood supporter I can insult. I just finished watching the Dockers kick their highest score ever (and the biggest winning margin over any other club ever) to destroy the Pies.

Fuckin come onnnn gimme some of that shiiiiit!

(I was told the other day that my vocabulary (or Jonescabulary as it's been named by My Dave and Chocolate Bear) consists mostly of quotes, obscure pop culture references and in-jokes (I don't even notice myself saying most of them anymore). I've decided I'm going to take it as a compliment.)

Listening to: Lemon Jelly - The Shouty Track

I'll blame you on the boogie if you're not careful

2005-05-08T00:46:00.000+08:00

Until the last 6 months or so, I've always been quite timid when it comes to asking out members of the opposite sex (if by timid I mean shitscared) (members of the same sex, though... phwoar (I found out around August last year that a guy I'd known for about two years had always 'assumed' I was gay, and was quite surprised to find out I was straight. Maybe I don't talk about boobs enough.)). Case in point, I hadn't asked anyone out for a couple of years. However I was inspired by the self-improvement machine that has been ChocolateBear over the last year, and have summoned up the gumption (I'm quite taken by the word gumption, it's up there with 'chipper' in my vernacular) and asked out a few people in the last 6 months or so (the success rate isn't important, it's all about being satisfied that at least you took the chance).

So last week I mentioned on this blog that I may or may not have had my eye on someone at the UWA Soccer Club Season Opening Party.Well although I've only told one person, it seems news travels fast (I was quite surprised that everyone at the Cap S tonight already knew) - I asked her out and surprisingly enough recieved an agreeable response (the word 'agreeable' always pissed me off in Jane Austen novels, but now I seem to use it quite often. Fuckin.) Hopefully it'll work out ok, I'll see how it goes.

On another note, I'm rapidly becoming ridiculously obsessive-compulsive about my music collection - someone asked me to make a mix mp3 cd the other day (which is far easier than making a mix cd or mix tape, since you have a far bigger capacity to work with, no need to worry about agonising over which song to discard in order to make it fit (if you don't get what I'm saying, watch High Fidelity - that movie rocks)), and I stayed ('stayed' just feels like it's the wrong spelling, maybe because 'staid' was already used) up until 3am the other night making it. Suffice it to say I'm quite happy with the final product, but have continued to tweak it to no end.

Dig it.

Listening to: Groove Armada - Lovebox

Come on the mighty not-Chelsea's

2005-05-05T10:42:00.000+08:00

Although I'm not a Liverpool fan by any stretch of the imagination, I am automatically a fan of anyone who's playing Chelsea so was quite glad to see Chelsea bundled out of the Champs League yesterday. MyDave, of course, will never hear the end of it from Chocolate Bear. EVAAAAA!

Anyhow, for the first time in a year or so I managed to walk away with some money from poker at Jamin's last night. Chigga Dan won the night (taking out every other player after turning up 20 minutes late), but I was able to last out the rest to come in second. (Just as importantly, Jamin came last... aaaahhhh! How do you like that one, pal? You don't like it at all, do you pal?) (Oh, and the following people now have poker nicknames: Chigga Dan is (D)Ante, Chow Yun is AllIn, and the two Bens are Pocket Bens. (If you don't get those names, you haven't played enough poker. (It can be rather expensive (and tedious if you lose early in the night), so I don't blame you.)))

1st - Chigga Dan
2nd - The Jonsi
3rd - Mlazza
4th - My Ben
5th - Chow Yun
6th - Jamin

Listening to: 10CC - Dreadlock Holiday

The spot the couple challenge

2005-05-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

Only one of the couples in these photos are actually going out together. Your challenge is to pick which one!

Couple A

Couple B

Couple C

My vote is for couple B, the others look ridiculous.

(Photos lifted from Chocolate Bear's UWA Soccer Club 2005 Season Launch Party)

Listening to: Jamiroquai - Revolution 1993

The cynical approach: it never fails

2005-05-03T13:18:00.000+08:00

Electrical Engineering units, while mostly composed of bullshit I don't care about, are notorious for repeating questions from past exams/tests/tutorials in tests. So if you're really stuck for time to study and only have a vague understanding of the concepts, the cynical approach to study is your friend.

The cynical approach involves memorising the answers to the past tests and tutorials, guessing which questions will be repeated, then regurgitating said answers onto the page (watch out for questions which are almost identical but have a couple of different numbers. Those examiners sure can be crafty). Anyway, I've just finished a test for which I had a full knowledge of maybe 60% of the material, but no clue about the rest... it was 90% identical to some questions whose answers I'd memorised (And I even managed to work out the other question myself).

Yeah baby... THE greatest study tactic EVAAAA!

Listening to: Orbital - Frenetic

I've been watching you all night and I want to TEAR you apart. Your friend too.

2005-05-01T00:47:00.000+08:00

Despite my best intentions to study during weekends, these intentions never seem to translate into the physical world. I didn't wake up until midday, then on my way off to uni I caught sight of the dockers match on tv out of the corner of my eye... they were playing one of the best games of their history, so how could any self-respecting dockers fan miss it? Suffice it to say that the 3 hours of work I managed to get done will have to do.

Now the reason I'd slept in until midday was I'd been out late to the UWA Girls' Soccer Club Season Opening party at the Leedy. It was a pretty good night (when you have to stay sober becuase you're driving, that's about as good as a night will ever be), and gave Chigga Dan an opportunity to show off his mad limbo skills (it really shouldn't count when you're almost short enough to walk under the bar without bending over (how do you like that one, pal? You don't like it at all, do you pal?!?)! Anyway, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves (though much to Big Red's chagrin (I quite like the word chagrin, it's a perfectly cromulent word) everyone wasn't hooking up (I may or may not have had my eye on someone, but that's a tale for another time, kids)).

I'm listening to The Shamen right now - they're quite good (I liked the Axis Mutatis album, but wasn' t so excited by the Arbor Bona Arbour Mala album). Give them a listen if you need an alternative to Uban Cookie Collective (though who would really need an alternative to Uban Cookie Collective unless you have both the key and the secret, in which case I say kudos to you).

(Oh and the title of this post is from Coming to America, it's not just me being strange (though that would also be a fair conclusion for you to make)).

I'm going to bed now.

Listening to: The Shamen - Destinatino Eschaton

Templatyness

2005-04-28T21:47:00.000+08:00

Bear with me while I'm working on the new template - it currently looks ok in IE but does strange things if you use Firefox.

The man in the banner looks odd as well but trust me, his days are numbered.

The keep-this-blog-up-to-date challenge

2005-04-28T11:08:00.000+08:00

It's been suggested that I don't keep this blog up to date. (Given I haven't bothered to fix the alignment of the banner in two months, I'm prepared to give that argument a little credit. But not much.) I'd like to claim it's because I'm too busy - in actual fact I simply can't be arsed.

Of a Friday afternoon during 2002, a select few of my closest comrades (and a few token randoms) would often perambulate down to the UWA tav at around 1pm and discuss the affairs of the day over a spot of tea.

Now if by "affairs of the day" I mean "boobs" and "spot of tea" I mean "4 jug per person minimum before we allowed anyone to leave", the last statement was perfectly true. (I think the games Radio Rummy and Arsehole featured prominently as well). We called it (unsurprisingly enough) The Friday Night Club - I seem to remember we got t-shirts made that had "Fully Sick Punani" emblazoned on the front. I take no credit for that, it was all Yagan's idea. (I still reckon Yagan should take his mum's maiden name as his surname. Then his name would be "Paul Yagan Cruikshank". How cool is that.) Anyway, over the last few weeks it seems the Friday Night Club is back with an all-new lineup: Gaviiiin and myself remain from the original group with the additions of MyDave, Chiggadan, Chocolate Bear, Land Whale, Joey Jo Jo, Penchenko and assorted others and they've been THE best Friday afternoons EVAAAAAAAA!!! (Last week I had to sit in CS until 4:30am Saturday morning before I was sober enough to drive home. I did sample the rejuvenating powers of Broadway Pizza again, and they haven't weakened over time.)

I doubt we'll get "Fully Sick Punani" t-shirts this time, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't.

Listening to: St. Germain - Rose Rouge

Jonesy, Lord of the Beach

2005-04-02T00:31:00.000+08:00

I have won the beach off! From now on, I require everyone to address me as "Jonesy Lord of the Beach".

Here's how it unfolded:

Ned - Retired Day 14
Ben - Retired Day 22
Dave - Retired Day 44
Jack & Beth - Retired Day 122

Jonesy - Undisputed Champion!

Listening to: The cheers of my many adoring fans

The Switch

2005-03-20T12:56:00.000+08:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been this long since I blogged. I guess I just lost motivation. Well, my blogging journey has now come full circle - it started with an alternative music blog called Liquid Cool which was started back in October last year, but was promptly neglected. Now a few of us have decided to get it back in action, so hopefully I'll blog there more often than once every two months.

Peace out, baby

Listening to: Underworld - Tin There

Another Steakout!

2005-01-17T00:04:00.000+08:00

As all of my friends know, I'm always up for pointless challenges or adventures (e.g. the beach off, 5-shake-thursday (did you know that all 5 flavours of brownes thickshake taste like choc honeycomb on the way back up?)). I was thinking (probably motivated by the episode of scrubs featuring the game "Steak": the first person to finifh their steak is the winner of "Steak") that I and some other people should have a night where we watch the movies "Stakeout" and "Another Stakeout" and eat steak. It could be called the Steakout!

Yes, it's quite a lame joke. That's why I love it so much.

Listening to: Spoon - The Way We Get By

Borange is the new black

2005-01-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

I haven't blogged in a fair while: I'd like to claim that's because I haven't had any spare time, but in reality it's because I couldn't be arsed.

A fair bit has been going on, though - I'm back at work after the christmas break (still doing 3-day-weeks over summer, mmm 4 day weekends!), and have returned to an office inexplicably full of printers (apparently it was used as a storeroom over the break) and covered with brick dust. The building was being re-cabled over the break, and in true contractor fashion, the job is still going although it was due to finish a week ago. As a result, I get to work with the noise of drilling coming from various places in the building (which is annoying at the best of times, and sheer pain when working with a hangover). The good news, however, is that I'll be moving into a shiny new (larger) office this week (it was supposed to be last week, but I'll get over it. Ample leg-room shall be mine again!

Traditionally, the summer break is the time for most radio stations to trot out their C-grade DJ's to cover for the more entertaining regular lot. I was pleasantly surprised to find that on Triple J between the hours of 10am-2pm every weekday we were treated to 4 hours of delightfully inane banter from Ross Noble and Terri Psiakis. This pair managed to rant on about just about anything (I seem to remember Noble ranting on about helium balloons for 30 minutes or so last Friday), and still keep it quite funny. I now wish they had landed the breakfast slot vacated by Adam and Wil at the end of last year, which has gone to Jay and The Doctor (from Frenzal Rhomb), whom I have deep reservations about (having heard some of their shows last year and their promos over summer, they simply aren't funny at all. And their taste in music is crap).

The other big thing in my life at the moment is a new woman on the horizon. I'm not about to say I'm in like Flynn just yet, but it looks very good (I an idea the other day that someone should make a tshirt that says "Flynn." on the front (being the accepted abbreviation of the sentence "I'm in like Flynn!" (or the DrLiamism "I am in. Like Flynn you might say.")). People could then proudly proclaim their success to the populace by wearing this shirt once they themselves are in like Flynn).

Following Richard and Terry's lead, Dr Liam has just recently left for an indefinitely long spell in Eng-er-land. Farewell Liam, we will miss you and your tuft.

Beach off update (read previous posts if you don't know what the beach off is): Day 47. Jack (still going) Beth (still going) Me (still going) Dave (out on Day 43) Jamin (out on Day 22).

So what have you been up to, then?

Listening to: Lemon Jelly - Stay With You

The Thrills stole Chocolate Bear's "Whatever Happened To" line

2005-01-02T00:57:00.000+08:00

I've come to the realisation that I have been on holidays for too long (8 days so far) - it's coming to the point where I can't even remember the day of the week. I was invited to a bbq on Saturday night (tonight), which I was quite looking forward to. However, I got through the entire day (and evening) thinking it was Friday, and just realised I've missed out. Damn.

I blame the rest of the population for having so many days off work this week that I've lost my point-of-reference for differentiating weekends from the working week. Get back to work, slackers!

However, this week has made me realise that I simply unable to be content doing nothing in particular (even for an afternoon or so). It's time I started the veritable mountain of reading I have to do before Uni starts again. (Apologies to the people I've been pestering incessantly for the last week saying "What are you doing? I'm bored!" ad nauseum. I'm sure you're all quite sick of me by now.)

I ended up going to a cocktail party with my brother last night (and recieved a good many compliments for pairing new-school Dunlop Volleys with a dinner suit. A pretty good night all round, and with any luck there may be a new lady on the scene (I only have to jump the small hurdle of finding out if she's actually interested in me. Maybe asking her out would be a good way to do that.) More news as events warrant.

(A note on the title: there is a song by The Thrills called "Whatever Happened To Corey Haim?" - it's actually quite a good song, it's just that they stole the "Whatever Happened To" line. I'm sure Chocolate Bear baggsed it first.)

Listening to: The Postal Service - Such Great Heights

A warning

2004-12-31T01:13:00.000+08:00

The general rule in software is that subsequent releases and patches are designed to fix existing problems in the program, and (hopefully) the application will run smoother.

In practice, the opposite is usually true.

The new ATI Catalyst driver package makes my PC shit itself every 5 minutes whenever I try to play FIFA 2005. I am mightily pissed off.

Doin' it for the country

2004-12-26T14:00:00.000+08:00

Just weighed myself - 71.8 kilos, up from 69 (the funny number) yesterday.

Yeah baby.

Listening to: Underworld - Two Months Off

Chewing the christmas fat

2004-12-26T13:53:00.000+08:00

I probably put on 5 kilos yesterday. A huge Christmas lunch with my Mum's side of the family was followed up with a huge Christmas dinner with my Dad's side of the family, and I managed to eat a truckload at each, ad felt quite sick afterwards. Not to worry, I thought, I can always spend the next couple of days eating well and doing a bit of exercise. No problem. Then this morning I opened the fridge. Ooh, leftovers!

I feel sick again.

On another note, we actually have most of a packet of lard in our fridge (Mum used it to make Yorkshire Pudding). The nutrition information on the side reads:

Per 100g
...
Fat (total): 100g
...

Lard really does look and smell quite disgusting.

Mmm... lard.

Listening to: The Killers - Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine

Crystal Balls of Steel

2004-12-24T00:36:00.000+08:00

Wow, Christmas has come up quite quickly - life really has been a bit of a blur since I finished exams. I think I'd like to celebrate Kwanzaa instead of Christmas this year - I don't know much about it, but it has a much cooler name and that's good enough for me.

I heard "Electric Blue" on the radio this morning (my office buddy had 94.5 on for a while, much to my distaste) and have had it on the brain all day. Not an enlightening statement I know, but I feel better for having shared that.

Towards the end of every year, people look forward to the new year and predict what will change in the new year. I however, have compiled a brief list of things that will not change in the coming year:

- The beach off will continue (only 4 people left - myself included!)
- Five different actors will be "reportedly confirmed" as the new James Bond
- Courtney Love will retain her current level of dignity
- Long Island Iced Teas will still hold ther power over me
- Brett Lee will continue life as a professional drinks-carrier
- Early 90's dance music will continue not getting old
- Modesty Blaise will still be the best part of the newspaper
- "Supple" will remain my favorite word
- I will continue to overuse the phrase "THE greatest thing EVER"

I may add to this list as I think about it, but probably won't.

Peace out

Listening to: Cut Copy - Saturdays

I've found a cure for blogdiction!

2004-12-22T09:01:00.000+08:00

Apathy!

I'll blog more later. Work now.

Listening to: Royksopp - Remind Me

I AM the sexiest man in Jamaica!

2004-12-12T00:14:00.000+08:00

Mint Royale is the happiest band in the world (if ever you've got a particularly powerful hangover, listen to their remix of Terrovision's "Tequila" - the choir of kids singing

"Tequila! It makes me happy!
Tequila! It makes me feel fine!
Tequila when the bars have opened
Tequila at closing tiiiime!"

is brilliant. Before you know it you'll be singing along too).

Get into it

Listening to: Mint Royale - The Sexiest Man In Jamaica

Beachy Keen

2004-12-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

Day 11 of the Beach-off was completed (although the wind was quite ridiculous at Floreat Beach - by the time I made it past the waves and came straight back in, I'd drifted 200m down the beach) without too many problems (seawater keeps coming out my nose though - it's quite annoying). I even managed to play an hour or so of beach volleyball with Chocolate Bear and the UWA soccer girls.

Did I mention that I've been off work since Wednesday night, but still have another 2 days of my weekend to go?!? Yeah! Fuck yeah!

Listening to: Apollo 440 - Lost In Space

The ball was IN! It was IN!

2004-12-11T20:04:00.000+08:00

At last, the greatest tennis shoe in the world is available as a slip-on, in a variety of great colours and patterns. I refer, of course, to the humble Dunlop Volleys. I've always had a pair of the normal white ones (they go perfectly with the sky-blue safari suit I wear to Solid Gold (a club at UWA who throw brilliant 70's themed disco parties) events). Anyhow, the new designs kick arse. I've half a mind to pick up a pair or three (being Dunlop Volleys, they're only $20 (yet they look quite similar to some Diesel shoes I've seen for $130). Fuckin COME ON!).

I've actually been listening to the new Kylie anthology in the last couple of days. Although I'd already heard most of the singles she's put out in the last few years, I never really associated her with the dance music genre; I always classified her work as pop (which I generally avoid like the plague). HOWEVER, she's just been nominated in the Dance Music category of the Grammys along with artists I love (Scissor Sisters, Chems), so I gave the Kylie anothology a listen. The first disc was composed of cringe-worthy efforts such as I Should Be So Lucky, Celebration and Locomoation. The second disc, being her work from the last 5 years or so, was refreshingly dancy and was quite fun to listen to.

Listening to: Kylie Minogue - I Believe In You

Clicky tops or twisty bottoms?

2004-12-09T23:46:00.000+08:00

My strenuous 3 day working week over, I can finally relax and enjoy a luxurious 5-day weekend. I've earned it. News of the day:

- Office christmas party tomorrow. I'm torn between enjoying vast quantities of the free alcohol on offer and risk making a fool of myself, or missing out on the free alcohol to save face. The optimal solution: don't drink much at the party, but steal as much as I can.

- My indoor soccer team won tonight's game 10-0, COME ON!!

- I decided to give Cott a miss and go to Hillarys for today's beaching (today was day 9 of the beach-off; Bethy, Daviiid, Jackarse, Jamin and I are still duking it out), and remembered why I never go to Hillarys. Crap waves, seaweed, and throngs of families with little kids made the experience thoroughly unrewarding. Cott tomorrow morning, methinks.

(And if you don't know what the title of this blog means, go and watch Series 3 of Scrubs. All of it.)

Listening to: Roger Sanchez - You Can't Change Me

No beer and no tv make Homer something something

2004-12-07T15:30:00.000+08:00

This subject has been covered quite comprehensively over the last couple of days, what with the return of the summer tv schedule, but as evidenced in Chocolate Bear's blog, I thought of it first.

Free-to-air TV in Australia sucks, for the following reasons:
1) No Ashes tour next year. Foxtel only.
2) No EPL (bless you SBS, I know you at least tried). Foxtel only.
3) They put my favorite shows in crappy timeslots.
4) They put my favorite shows in crappy timeslots DURING SUMMER.
5) They put my favorite shows in crappy timeslots during summer AFTER DELAYING THEM FOR 2 YEARS.

Exhibit A: Scrubs. THE best show EVER. Delayed 18 months (Channel 7 just started series 3, yet series 4 is halfway through in the US), shown at 11pm on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights during summer, and given no advertising.

And they wonder why it rates so poorly?

Exhibit B: Family Guy. Very much like the Simpsons, brilliantly funny. On at 11:30am weekdays during summer, after being delayed nearly 2+ years.

Exhibit C: The West Wing (yes, I like the West Wing). It's won somewhere in the neighbourhood of 22 Emmys, yet is delayed 15 months and played at 10:30pm during summer.

Exhibit D: Smallville. Series 1 was on at 8:30 on Tuesdays, and rated quite well. Series 2 was shifted to Saturdays at 8:30, when very few members of its' target demographic would be watching tv (and you wonder why the ratings dropped?!?). After 6 episodes of series 2, the public were told "that is the end of the season" (yet series 2 ran for 23 episodes), and it has not been seen since.

Let's compare these 3 quality shows to some pre-fab tripe like Better Homes and Gardens. BHG is given all the advertising it could want and a prime-time slot during the ratings season. Firstly, Noni Hazlehurst has done nothing great since Play School. Secondly, the show is crap.

I could go on about the endless stream of home renovation, auction and gardening shows that seem to dominate the airwaves - in fact, it's come to the point where I don't actually watch ANY programs regularly on tv anymore. Just about any show can be downloaded (and/or bought on DVD, if I think they're good enough), so if there's something I particularly want to watch, I'll download it rather than waiting the requisite 18 months for it to appear on my tv screen.

Upon re-reading this blog, I am concerned that I take my tv watching far too seriously.

Listening to: Bent - Comin' Back

Yeah, that's what you get!

2004-12-03T15:56:00.000+08:00

It's actually been quite a busy week so far. I really need to kerb my drinking - I've put away at least 5 or 6 drinks every night for the last week, and significantly more on the weekend. My gut and my wallet are beginning to tell the tale.

Anyhow, Chocolate Bear and I were thinking that the motto of Dick Smith's Electronics should be changed from "(That's) Where You Go" to "Yeah! That's what you get! (bitch!)". I quite like it.
(I'd love to say there's more to that story, but there really isn't. We dreamed that up on Saturday whilst walking/driving in random circles around the city and looking for soccer boots for someone with abnormally small feet. Suffice it to say that we had to invent our own entertainment.) [edit] The word 'whilst' was originally in the last sentence 3 times until I re-read it and removed them. I must be quite tired.[/edit]

Just won a great game of indoor 3-2; I even scored, thanks to Dave's excellent cross which I was able to tap in. (I've written enough about the game already tonight - see the Thumbmasters gamecast).

Development really is quite a fickle mistress. Some days (yesterday, In my case) you'll accomplish absolutely nothing, spend a large amount of time distracting colleagues from their work and (if you're lucky) break the odd system or two. Other days (today in my case), you'll fix everything you broke the day before, conjure up magical solutions to problems you've been ramming your head into for a fortnight and generally kick arse all day. I guess on some level, all jobs are like that.

Beach off update: I'm 2 for 2, (Cott this afternoon was FAN-tastic, it wasn't that warm outside, but was quite nice in the water, and the waves were brilliant; there was a nice catchable wave (no dumpers) every 5-10 seconds. GOLD.). Rooboy is 2 for 2 in his pub-off, whilst I assume Bethy, Jackarse and Jamin are also 2 for 2 in the beach off (I initially wrote bach off there - what would that be? Who can play the most Bach pieces continuously?).

A 3 day weekend beckons (followed by a 5 day weekend from next Thursday!) - I'd better get to it. Cheerio!

Listening to: Sasha & Emerson - Scorchio!, Stereophonics - Local Boy in the Photograph, The Orb - Outlands (Winamp is on shuffle)

Beach off!

2004-11-29T16:19:00.000+08:00

With the approaching onset of summer, a group of my friends and I who frequent the beach (usually Cottesloe) quite often have decided to have a beach off - I think the idea is derived from "The Contest" episode of Seinfeld.

Anyhow, the beach off involves swimming at the beach every single day during summer - you are knocked out of the competition as soon as you miss one day. I expect some stiff competition from the likes of Jamin, Bethy and Jackarse, but think I have a fairly strong chance of doing well.

Dig it

Damn you sun, why do you burn me so?

2004-11-28T21:31:00.000+08:00

Just a quick update: it was rather a big weekend - drinks on Friday night, Pen's birthday at the Buddha Bar, followed by drinking until the sun came up the The Red Sea on Saturday, and watching Jack play cricket today.

Points to note:
- WA really needs to hve daylight saving. Not only would it reduce the time difference between us and the other states, but it's getting quite light at 4:30 in the morning these days, which is quite ridiculous when you think that it's dark well before 8.
- Beach volleyball is fun to play.
- Smirnoff Ice Double Black is a dangerous mistress.
- Always re-apply sunscreen. I was sitting in the shade all day and applied sunscreen in the morning, but my face managed to get wuite burnt. Bastards.

Arsenal play Liverpool tonight. Should be good.

What's new in your world?

Champagne should be pronounced "sham-paggen"

2004-11-27T07:30:00.000+08:00

[Today's blog rating: PG (May contain whiny overtones)]

Adam Spencer and Wil Anderson made their last ever broadcast for Triple J this morning. After waking up to them for the best part of 5 years, this could take some getting used to. I am troubled by their choice of replacements, Jay and The Doctor from Frenzal Rhomb. Firstly, I've listened to them do some weekend shifts, and don't find them funny at all. Secondly, I love electronic music. I don't particularly like punk music, particularly Aussie punk (and Aussie hiphop, for that matter). Jay and The Doctor don't like electronic music, but love punk. This could be a problem.

What else has been happening? I saw Mean Girls last night, and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was faaantastic. I'm fairly sure it was written by the guy who wrote Wayne's World, so that probably has much to do with it.

But you know what's great? 4 day weekends. After a champagne breakfast this morning (for Adam and Wil), 7 hours of watching cricket and getting a new DVD burner, I still have 3 days of weekend goodness to come.

Yeah baby.

Brain Dump

2004-11-22T17:02:00.000+08:00

[Today's blog rating:
M 15+
Medium Level Coarse Language
3 different spellings of the word 'fucken'
My blood alcohol level: around .08 ish
Adult Themes
Sexual References
Obscure Pop Culture References]

I haven't blogged in quite a while. Sorry about that. I could blame it on a number of things (mostly exams) but I'm back to blogging now that I have a bit more time on my hands.

If you're lucky, I'll make a template that actually looks good.

So, what's been happening in my world? Many things. Exams are over, which is lovely. Incidentally, I lurve exams which are 75% identical to the sample exam given in the last week of semester. I'm also rather taken by the spelling 'lurve'. Who did I rip that off? I don't remember now.

Somewhere in the middle of exams, I managed to find the 12 or so hours it takes to finish Halo 2, and it was faaantastic. It's a ridiculously pretty game (there were a few occasions when I was quite pissed off that I had to fight the enemies around me - I just wanted a better look at the scenery. Importantly, they've removed (mostly) the annoyingly repetitive bits from Halo (the library level in the original Halo was 30 seconds of the same gameplay repeated continuously over 45 minutes) and made the whole experience enjoyable from start to finish.

*** Spoiler warning ***

Now, when I say finish: the game ends. The story doesn't. There's a part during a long cutscene where I thought "OK, nothing in the plot has been resolved, and the huge final battle is about to begin"; I figured that there was one or maybe two levels left, and it was going to be brilliant.

Then the credits started rolling.

WHAT THE SHIT?!?

Did Die Hard end before Bruce Willis got to kill Alan Rickman? Did Ghostbusters end before everyone was covered in marshmallow? Did LOTR end before Sauron was overthrown? (In fact, did LOTR ever end?) NO! You know why? Because that would have been fucking crap! So why the fuck did it end 2 levels early? I don't know. But it's crap all the same.

But other than that, I quite liked it.

What else has been going on? Well I've just watched Garden State, which was written, directed by and stars Zach Braff of Scrubs fame, and is easily my favorite movie of the year thus far (squeezing past Rollerball, Harold and Kumar and Shaun of the Dead). I walked out of it with a warm, happy feeling I last felt after I saw Lost in Translation. It's funny, tender and spoke to me on a number of levels (the main levels being "Hey, it's Ian Holm! The Fifth Element rocked!", "Phwoar, Natalie Portman", "I am the Duke of Ted" and the feeling most people get in their twenties (I sure did - and still am), trying desperately to sort out whatever they want to do with their lives, and all the shit that comes along with it). Oh, and the soundtrack is all good. Despite my shambolic analysis of the movie, it fucken rocks. Go see it.

(Incidentally, Zach Braff is going to be on Rove this week.)

And how's about the cricket? McGrath and Gillespie combined outscored the entire New Zealand team in their second innings! Fuckin come on!

So how was your weekend?

Enda Semesta

2004-10-30T03:10:00.000+08:00

It's arrived. Could someone please invent antibiotics that you can take with alcohol? In the next half hour?

Please?

Rather sleepy

2004-10-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

I had my last uni classes for the year today (luckily I still have another year of the uni lifestyle ahead of me - sucked in ChocolateBear and UnemployedBum!), and haven't yet reached full panic mode before exams. Don't worry: I'll get there. These things take time.

What else is new? Not much. I'm waiting for the latest episode of Scrubs to download (whatever happened to Scrbsville nights?), and am thinking that Enda Semesta this Friday won't be nearly as much fun sober. At least I'm seeing Adam Spencer & Wil Anderson doing stand-up at the Octagon Theater on Friday (and Saturday) night. Should be good.

Oh, and if you haven't seen Heat Vision and Jack, watch it NOW. It's a tv show made by Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Jack Black in the late 90's, but was canned after only one episode - just too 'niche' for FOX, I suppose. Trust me, it's GOLD.

What is the sound of one hand typing?

2004-10-27T15:30:00.000+08:00

And in case you were thinking "just how long does it take to type using only one hand?" (and even if you weren't), the answer is TOO LONG! (Which is also the title of an excellent Daft Punk song - go watch Interstella 5555 DVD, it's faaantastic).

The OC

2004-10-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

I finally managed to catch an episode of The OC tonight after missing it for the last couple of weeks. It's improved markedly throughout the season - if you haven't seen it, give it a go (especially if you were a Dawson's person like myself!).

Man I love crap TV.

Welcome back, sports fans

2004-10-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

As I was doing some random study this evening (whilst watching The OC, but more about that later), I thought that I needed something which I could use to put off doing whatever work I wanted to avoid. [edit]That was one of the worst-constructed sentences I've ever written. If you understood it, kudos; I can't say I don't envy you.[/edit] My usual vices (Xbox and beers) have been temporarily denied to me, thanks to a certain incident involving my thumb and two hockey sticks last week, which I won't go into again.
(I'm still on antibiotics, hence no beers. Xbox simply isn't feasible at this point.)

The solution? I needed a blog. (I had a movable type blog for a short while a couple of months ago, but it was soon neglected.)

A word of warning: if you don't actually know me (or just haven't seen me in a couple of days), I will quite often launch into a discussion without providing any backstory or context whatsoever. Consider it part of the experience.